Welcome to Review Breakdown

A few simple things you should know if you’re interested in this blog:

It has a clone: It’s through blogger. I’ve taken a step outside of it to try and bring in more viewers.  Either way, I’m hoping to have my voice heard.

As far as film reviews are concerned, I can get vaguely vulgar and very opinionated, but I assure you I will provide you interesting and factual information in the process.  I’m interested being both informative and opinionated.  With that in my mind, I have a rating system from best to worst respectively: Worship It, Shelve It, Buy It, Rent It, and Trash It.  A more detailed explanation is at the bottom.

I also review video games, and sometimes even reviews themselves (just a teensy bit meta).  The purpose is to hold everyone responsible for their creative work, even if it is just in the way we talk about other creative work.  Creative work on creative work about creative work?  WHAT THE HELL

Finally: please comment.  Any feedback is helpful, even if it is vulgar berating.  The point is to get people thinking and to get people talking.  Hopefully the best outcome will be the more commonplace: people forming an informed opinion of their own.

Worship It: This film is beyond simply good or important for your collection.  This film is a holy artifact and needs an elaborate shrine with incense and possibly even a means of copulating with it.  (EXAMPLE: The Dark Knight)

Shelve It: Though not worth your sacrifices and homages, it is definitely worth putting in your obviously elaborate library for historical and referential purposes.  It has value as a progression in film history.  (EXAMPLE: Slumdog Millionaire)

Buy It: A fun film you’ll watch over and over again either by yourself or with the family.  Something you can pop in the DVD or Bluray player or Xbox 360 and just eat popcorn while some people pay attention and others distractedly chat about something dull like politics.  (EXAMPLE: Scott Pilgrim vs. The World)

Rent It: This is just something you need to see, mostly out of curiosity or for a few small intellectual reasons, and then you need to give back to your friend or return it to Netflix because you’re really not interested in watching it ever again.  Nor should you.  You just wanted to keep up to date on pop culture or see some stuff go boom.  (EXAMPLE: Transformers)

Trash It: Sometimes you’re just better off not wasting your time.  Sometimes your better off going for hike or reading a book.  Sometimes your better off subjecting yourself to horrible unsatisfying torture than watching a crappy film Hollywood didn’t even like when it decided to make it, let alone when they released straight to DVD.  And this isn’t the same as watching a shitty horror movie for laughs, this film isn’t even bad funny.  It’s just shit.  (EXAMPLE: Vampires Suck)

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